Before and After Marriage

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was hard waiting.
She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top !!!!

Marriages

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, so are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 1000 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a
good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matters of chemistry, that is why wife treats
husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment story.
A long - married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
"Wow! This stuff really works!"

No Title

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTYROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BESTIN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange theletters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrangethe letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When yourearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When yourearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSECODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COMEDOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange theletters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrangethe letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When yourearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZEALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IMA DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange theletters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When yourearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THEGRAND FINAL...

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange theletters:
WOMAN HITLER


-nn-